That’s not personalization
Brands want to connect. Consumers want to be understood. Trust lives or dies somewhere in between.
That email you received last week, about the sale or item that just got restocked, is marketing’s favorite party trick: personalization.
It’s clever, sure. But conversations about personalization and its correlation with trust keep resurfacing:
If a brand orchestrates how I experience them — personalizes their communication, tweaks what I see and when I see it — does that make me trust them more?
Possibly. But let’s be honest: personalization alone doesn’t build trust.
When we talk about personalization, we have to ask: How does personalization take place? What data is used to decide what I might want or need? And how tailored to each individual, or group of individuals, it it really? (Spoiler: most brands still have a long way to go here.)
There’s the surface-level stuff, like using my name in an email. Fine. Mildly flattering. But then there’s the cringy kind, the one that follows me around the internet alerting me every day, “Those items are still in your basket…”. It’s not helpful, it’s just plain stalking.
Which leads me further down the rabbit hole: How much do they actually know about me? And where are they getting that info? Data collection has gotten so professionalized, it’s scary. It’s an entire industry that’s thriving, worldwide.
What worries me most isn’t that companies are doing it, it’s that most people don’t even realize it’s happening. It feels very Titanic (a little drama here) — everyone casually scrolling and digital surfing while something massive and unseen looms underneath.
Let me be clear: I’m not against companies using my data to improve my experience. I’m in this industry, I know the benefits for both the company and the customer. If it actually leads to better service, hell yes. But the reality is: most brands aren’t there yet.
Why is that? The technology is sophisticated and accessible. So that can’t be it.
The answer lies much deeper: Brands don’t know how to create real value — because they don’t always know what value means to different customers.
And in the end, that’s what personalization should be about: creating real value, being genuinely helpful — during the purchase and long after. Not just making me click, but making me come back. Not just knowing who I am, but showing me why I should care.
So yes, personalization can make interactions feel more relevant and appreciated.
But it’s not a shortcut to trust.
Because trust isn’t something you can automate. It’s not built through clever targeting or cookie trails. It’s built over time through thoughtful choices, consistent value and mutual respect. Every part of the experience matters. Maybe we should even start talking about Experience with a capital E, to make that distinction clear:
Personalization + Value = Better Experience
I think I’ll end with a call for consideration to my fellow digitalites:
What trail of breadcrumbs are you leaving behind online? And are the companies you’re sharing that invaluable resource with (your behavior, your preferences), actually turning it into better service, better products, or better experiences?
This article was originally published on my newsletter, Désirée’s Brain Itch.
